Here’s what today’s new Transformation Conversation, “When Everything Goes Wrong” covers:
- The downside of being a ‘fast fixer’ and what to look for instead
- Is stuff really going wrong or is something else going on?
- Ideas for when ‘it’s really gone to hell!’
- A controversial alternative to forcing stuff to happen
- How to be in flow for more than 1 day!
- How to be ready for your million dollar idea
Resources for this episode
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|Hi, this is Rachel with today’s transformation conversation, ‘when stuff goes badly.’ Let’s look together at when something’s not going well, or when you think it’s going badly. It could be a specific project, perhaps generally you feel your business isn’t going well, you feel stuck or perhaps a relationship’s not going well.
The downside of being what I call a fast fixer, which is what I’ve always been is that when you immediately think something’s not going well and you need to fix it, you can fix it so quickly that you miss the message in it. You miss the guidance that can be in that situation for you and that’s what I want to talk to you about today.
|This is relevant for you if you feel like things aren’t going well whether you’re a fast fixer or not. If you’re a fast fixer, someone who likes to have everything under control all the time, have a little bit of control freakery going on, which is what I talk about in quite a lot of my work, then this is even more relevant for you.
Firstly, given that as I shared in this transformation conversation often, thought is transient and our feelings are only ever a direct result of whatever thoughts we’re having in a specific moment. What does ‘not going well,’ or ‘going badly’ even mean. It’s so arbitrary as not going well one day can look like going brilliant the next, even if nothing changes, right?
|It’s a state of mind that creates our experience, not what’s going on around us. I know that’s pretty mad if you’ve not been introduced to the inside-out nature of life and psychology that I’m sharing here in this conversation. Anyhow, let’s pretend stuff is really not going well. It’s going really badly in a specific area. We feel it should look different. We’re not sure what we’re doing wrong, but it must be something. Everything feels stuck. We’re not feeling good enough to do whatever it is that we need to do, and self doubt is kind of pouring in and everything’s really just gone to hell, or that’s how it feels. Let’s imagine that’s the situation.|
|In business, the areas of money and clients or customers is a hot spot for this kind of suffering as a result of lots of overthinking about what our business should look like. What I’m seeing lately through my own insights, bearing in my needs and my personal insights, and I’m sharing them in the hopes that they’ll trigger some of your own or that you’ll resonate with some of this and see something that feels true for you.
What I’m seeing more and more of is that often stuff doesn’t go as you planned it, but you don’t have to take it so personally. You don’t have to take it so seriously. I’m much more likely these days to let whatever the situation is play out and it looks to me now like we spend so much of our time trying to force things to happen that perhaps just aren’t meant to happen. I’m not saying you put your feet up and don’t bother doing anything.
|That’s not what I’m saying, but oddly enough, I can also see that if that’s what you want to do, then that’s okay too, because when something wants to happen, it tends to happen. It happens without a great effort and without you forcing it and making it happen, which is, I know so controversial and so contrary to everything that we tend to read in modern personal development. Make it happen. It’s all on us. It’s down to us. If it’s up to me, if it’s going to be, it’s up to me and all of that stuff, right? Not forcing it to happen is not the way I’ve lived my life up until the past couple of years. I’ve been familiar with the concepts of going with the flow, letting things happen, letting things unfold. I’ve been familiar with those concepts for many years, but I’ve never actually really known how to live that way for more than a day, to be really honest with you.|
|How about when things don’t go as planned, instead of beating yourself up and feeling bad about how rubbish you must be at whatever it is, or what a bad person you are because of again whatever is going on, instead you just take a step back and observe? You just let things unfold a little more before you jump in and start fixing and manipulating situations and micromanaging everything to try and make it look how you think it should and how feels acceptable to you.
What’s beautiful about this is that something new might be knocking at your door. Something new might want to come in. It could be a new project, a new program, some kind of new inspiration. It could be a new million dollar, or million pound idea. It could be a new relationship. It could be a completely new way to make money, if money’s on your mind.
|You know, when you start to think, what is this lull in activity, which can be where entrepreneurs often get into a panic. Things slow down. They feel like everything’s falling apart, right because things aren’t going as they thought they should. What if a lull in activity, which in all honesty could be half a day, or it could be half a year because it is all down to our state of mind really, what we are considering a lull, or what is this disruption in usual service, whatever that means for you. What is it nudging you to see? What’s the message in it? Is there something there for you? I’ve been a fan of the vacuum of prosperity. It’s like when learning universal laws many years ago, I fell in love with the vacuum of prosperity.|
|I have to say at this point, it still looks really true to me. A lot of the stuff I learned about law of attraction and universal laws really doesn’t look true to me anymore. It looks like a lot of superstition to be perfectly frank. A lot of micromanaging superstition and trying to calm the control freak in us, feeding the control freak basically because we think that we can make stuff happen. The vacuum of prosperity looks to be true because when there’s a space, nature fills it.
It’s just how things are, and this is what this conversation is about. It’s about pointing to things that are A-true for everyone, B-showing you how to see your own insights, showing you how to put yourself in a space where you’re more open to get your own insights for you.
|In this vacuum of prosperity, when you slow down a little bit, something new can come in for you. Maybe it’s time to change direction. Maybe it’s time to let something go that’s no longer aligned with the new you. Maybe it’s just time to take a little break. Life is so fast paced for us these days. Our minds are going even faster, I think because we’re so in this zone of reacting and living this fast paced life that we start to think it’s really normal. We think it’s a natural pace. You know, it’s like if you haven’t been on Facebook for half a day, it can seem like you’ve not been on there for a week, because there’s so much happening and so much whizzing around in your news feed. It’s all an illusion.|
|My message for you today is to slow down a little bit if you want to, if you feel overwhelmed and tired and out of inspiration and stuff isn’t going well. Rather than speeding up and panicking, just slow down a little bit and see what wants to come through for you, what’s new. Let things unfold. Look around and just see. Is there something new for you to see there?
There may be nothing, and that’s okay too. That’s perfectly fine too, because trust me, everything will look different soon anyway. I hope that’s been helpful for you. If you want to learn more about what I’m talking about in this podcast and you’re new to some of these ideas, then you can go to rachelhenke.com and download my free fearless transformation class. Thank you. Bye for now.
Tags: control freak tips, entprepreneur mindset, everything goes wrong, how to be in flow, Inside Out Understanding, million dollars ideas, mindset for when stuff goes wrong, slowing down to speed of life, state of mind, transformation coaching, transformative conversation, vacuum of prosperity