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Hello, this is Rachel bringing you today’s transformation conversation. I’m going to be creating a new series for you called The Superpower Series and the first episode is called The Superpower of Giving Up. I used to think giving up was for losers. I would push through trying to make things happen that really didn’t want to happen or at least weren’t ready to happen. I had the misunderstanding that sheer willpower and can do attitude was what was needed and so I cultivated more of that.
I read hundreds of books and listened to audios and attended seminars on how to be bullet proof and never to give up. And giving up had a real stigma to it in my empowered circles. The problem with that is that life doesn’t really work that way. Even when we think we’ve created something through our own tenacity and willpower, it’s not really the case. There are other factors at play that we can and don’t control even if we’d like to think that we can. This in turn sets us up for suffering when the dice don’t land in our favour. We beat ourselves up thinking it’s all on us. Conversely when we think we made something happen on our own, our egos inflate and we revel in the credit until the next ego-fueled challenge.
This is all illusory and casts us out on the winds of fortune. It looks like by being empowered we’re in control but when we glimpse the truth of how reality really works, we show up and do what occurs to us. Sometimes it goes as we think it should and sometimes it doesn’t. From this space we can access clarity on demand because we’re free to have a go and if it seems like the intuitive thing to do, we go for it. But we’re also free to give up. Giving up isn’t fatal or final. Humans are a bit like cockroaches. We find a way under, over, or around.
Giving up when we don’t know what to do isn’t a weakness. It’s actually a superpower. Have you ever noticed how the minute you give up on a tricky problem or you walk away because your heads in bits and you just do something else, something magical seems to shift. You receive a phone call out of the blue. Now I don’t understand the metaphysics of that but I’ve certainly experienced it in my life many times. What I can point you to is that the principles behind this are reliable and predictable.
When you give up on something you’ve been trying so hard to do, because you allow yourself the mental space to see your problem with new eyes and come to it with fresh thinking, sometimes you see that that problem doesn’t even need solving anymore. It fixes itself or you get an insight, a new idea on how to solve your so-called problem and it’s something that wasn’t there before in your consciousness. You just didn’t have it there before but because you give up, you allow space for something new to come in.
There’s a cool story I heard recently from a colleague about an aerospace company that’s been exposed to the principles that I share in my work. They began to take this giving up to a whole new level and I thought this was really cool to share with you. After seeing the power of giving up they would walk away from their desk; they’d go home and take time out instead of continuing to try to make it happen and tackle the problem that they were having and stuck on. This is aerospace here we’re talking so not simple stuff. They would allow themselves the mental space for something new to come through and the new modus operandi became ‘how quick can you give up?’ These super smart techno geeks are walking around asking each other, “Have you given up yet?” I figure if this is helpful for aerospace engineers, perhaps we could learn a thing or two from it in our daily problem solving.
This is the superpower of giving up. Try it for yourself. I’d love to hear how you get on. You can find me at www.rachelhenke.com and I’ll have another episode of the superpower series coming to you next week. Thank you.