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Hello, this is Rachel bringing you today’s transformation conversation. We have the new Superpower Series. Today’s episode is the superpower of letting go, which I see as the sister of the previous superpower, which was the superpower of giving up. The reason I say that is because I see these two as very closely linked. You’ve got the superpower of giving up, which is being okay with giving up, in fact, welcoming giving up, and I gave an example of that in the previous episode of how creative you can be in your problem solving when you give yourself space to give up for a little while. What’s different with the superpower of letting go is that, in my mind anyway, letting go is really about not being attached to an outcome, letting go of being married to how you think something should turn out.
That’s beneficial to you and freeing to you in so many ways and on so many levels, but the really obvious one to me that I see again and again and again is when I’m free to let go, I’m in a better space. Everything that I point you to in this conversation is always about you being in a better space. It’s not even that you’re not in a good space all the time. It’s just that you’re getting in your own way. You get in that space. You go in and you mess with it. The space is there, but for want of a better way to explain it, getting into that space is easier. Staying in that space is easier when you are not attached to some kind of outcome because you can play more. You can really have fun with your projects, with the things that are going on in your life because you are not focused on controlling the outcome.
Again, control is a theme that runs through all of this work where we’re releasing control. We’re seeing that we’re not in control anyway, but we’re releasing the idea that we have to be in control because when we think we have to be in control all the time, we spend a lot of time and energy trying to be in control. When you see that you can actually just let go and not be so uptight about how things should turn out, that opens up another whole way of being. I call it living fearlessly. It opens up this wonderful, new path for you to follow where you become intrigued and you become excited about what might happen next because you don’t know. We never know what’s going to happen from moment to moment, but for some reason, we go through life pretending that we do or hoping that we do or trying to make things be a certain way.
The letting go gives you this wonderful new space to play in. As you allow things to unfold, I’ve noticed that I and my clients become a lot less reactive. Because we don’t have a lot on the outcome, we don’t need to be really tied to how somebody or something shows up, so we don’t have to, the minute somebody says something that we don’t perhaps like that much, we don’t have to straightaway jump in there and sort it out, sort them out, try and put them straight, and all of that kind of stuff because that is actually an exhausting way to live, but when you think that you have to control an outcome, it’s as if you’re trying to control everything, so people are trying to control the circumstances and they’re trying to control the people around them and make them do more of the things that are in line with the things that they think they need to be happy.
This sounds really selfish, but that’s how most people operate, and it’s not because they are inherently selfish. It’s because they are afraid of not knowing what’s going to happen. They’re afraid of the unknown, so they try to do more than their bit, I see their bit as showing up, being their best, being in the moment, being present to what they can bring, but instead of that, people tend to go a step further and say, “Oh, well, I should have said that to him, and why didn’t I say that to him, and maybe if I say that to him next time, he will do this.” I’m sure that sounds familiar to you. You’ve probably had that conversation playing through your mind several times. Perhaps even in the last few days. We’ve all done it. We all do it sometimes.
When you see that you don’t need to do that because things are going to work out as they’re going to work out and you’re going to show up and do your best in the moment anyway, all of that extraneous thinking can just drop away. What does it leave? It leaves this beautiful, quiet space where you can really be you, where you can really show up powerfully present in the moment with the people you love, doing the things that you want to do, being your most creative, and knowing that you’re okay whatever the outcome. That’s what I really love about this conversation. It’s one of my favourite things.
That’s the superpower of letting go. It would be brilliant if you want to play with that this week and see how it unfolds for you. I’d love to hear from you, hear your stories and see what’s going on for you. You can find me at www.RachelHenke.com.